


Lily Potter Is Going To Fight Everyone Cause She's Got Nothing To Lose

by HeadphoneActor



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: BAMF Lily Evans Potter, Harry Potter Dies, Lily Evans Potter Lives, POV Lily Evans Potter, Trans Character, Trans Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26065513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeadphoneActor/pseuds/HeadphoneActor
Summary: Lily thought she died, she didn't, and now she's utterly pissed and completely ready to murder that son of a bitch Voldemort.Well, when she gets older, because she's currently inside her son's baby body.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 30





	1. Introduction Chapter

Lily was not going to let this snake faced asshole get his way, he could kill her but there's no way she'll ever let him hurt her son, she was willing to die to keep her boy alive.

And she did.

Her final thoughts before she fell into the abyss of darkness was begging any merciful entity out there to please, protect her child, with any means. 

And then she woke up. 

She felt so heavy, she was being weighed down but even if she wasn't she doubts she could have lifted her arms, they were so heavy, everything was heavy. She wanted to sleep again. She saw, something blurry, large and familiar.

"Lily's son..." she heard before she succumbed to sleep. 

When she woke again it was dark, she couldn't see much, her arms still felt like they were encased in jelly, light suddenly encased her, her eyes drooped once again, she was so tired...why was she so tired?

A gasp, yelling, it hurt her head, the light hurt her eyes. She closed her eyes one more time, letting sleep wash over her. Hopefully the world will make sense the next time she wakes up.

The world didn't make sense when she woke up. She saw familiar faces, her sister Petunia the most notable, she had saw her and tried to speak, she didn't even know what she wanted to say, she was just so happy to see someone she trusted, all that came out was a gargling. She then noticed something odd, her and Petunia had been a similar height, but now her blonde sister towered over her. 

Her sister spoke, looking straight at her, her insides chilled.

"This is Lily and that...mans son, Harry." She said to someone she couldn't see.

"My sister...died, and now we're stuck with her mistake...I...god what do we do with him?" Her sister turned to the other person she couldn't see.

She couldn't think, couldn't breathe. 

She had some guesses to what happened. She hoped this was a dream, a now-your-dead-have-a-weird-dream-dream. She knew this wasn't a dream.

Where was her son? 

She knew. She knew. She hated that she knew.

She wasn't Lily Evans Potter who was dead protecting her son from an evil wizard.

She was Lily Evans Potter who accidentally stole her son, Harry Potter, body. 

She was going to fucking murder that piece of shit Voldemort who destroyed her life, killed her husband and son. 

Not now, obviously. In the future. Obviously.

Oh god, she didn't know what to do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking for a emotionally!neglectful!but!ultimately!good!Petunia! A just!a!kid!with!bad!influences!but!good!heart!dudley! & man!child!vernon! 
> 
> Also Lily is meant to be a kinda unreliable narrator, so all the characters are just her interpretation of them, so Petunia could be the literal devil incarnated but this is Lilys sister so shed probably always view her more positive than Vernon -i purposely mad Lily call him "Petunias husband" throughout this to kinda hammer in Lily isn't a fan but it's mostly due to to the fact its Petunias husband, all his actions are viewed more negative as a result.

Life was weird for Lily. 

Being an adult in a barely-toddlers body gave her some unique struggles but the worst part was being looked after by her sisters family.

Her husband was horrible, why did she marry him?

Her sister, while not the nicest, was still a good person, this brute was utterly despicable and she hated him. He had a booming voice, a slimy personality and no appeal, what went wrong with Petunias life that lead to her tying the knot with this utter excuse? 

Their son wasn't as bad. He had some of his fathers roughness and had a killer mean streak but he was a kid, and kids just tended to be kinda sweet sometimes, even as a toddler he still managed to grasp the concept of right and wrong a little bit and had come to rescue her from his father several times.

Petunia was cold. Very cold, she was very robotic in her actions, change nappy, feed milk, burp, put down til she cries. While her husband had a bullying problem that made it's way over to helpless babies, Petunia was a wall, not giving or accepting any affection from her. If Lily had been mentally a child it would've been heartbreaking, even as a fully grown adult, Lily felt her eyes swell with tears every time she was left alone. 

She had already lost her husband and son but she never thought she'd lose her sister like this, this detachment. She would live but Lily felt the sting.

Words were not coming easy, her brain was saying the word but all she could manage was a gargle, Dudley, who was only about a half a year older had already started talking, it was messy and unstructured when he talked but it was a significant difference to Lily's almost muteness.

On the other hand, she could move, if only a little, she hadn't mastered walking as of yer but she was good at crawling, it was demeaning at first, to crawl around but she got used to it, the worst barrier to overcome had been changing and burping. Even now the hesitation and frustration remained but the knowing that she couldn't do anything for the time being was so soul crushing that it broke her remaining spirit to allow her nappy to be changed and letting herself throw up all over everyones backs. 

At night she would cry, during the day, she could almost distract herself, complaining to herself about the unfairness of being a baby, playing those, rather fun, toddler toys, trying to talk and walk but at night everyone was asleep, she couldn't do much unless she wanted to wake everyone up and face to passive aggressiveness of a full grown man trying to inconvenience a toddler. 

But she cried, quietly, it's hard to have any volume control as a baby but she had managed to make herself cry almost silently, at night she couldn't help the rush of memories and thoughts.

The most prelevent memories being the ones of Voldemort in her house, threatening her son, the numbing fear of knowing your husband had died despite no one telling you. The guilt she feels at stealing her baby boys body, her self hatred at not being able to protect anyone.

But, theres also good memories which hurt almost as much.

Ones with Petunia, ones with Severus, ones with James, Sirius, Remus, minor things like her roommate Gagather Herkins giving her chocolates when she was sad, Teddy Munchhop holding her hair as she threw up in a bush at a muggle rave. Her childhood hamster. Her primary school teacher, her first crush, the moment she realised she was irreversibly drawn to towards James Potter, that he had finally snared her. It all mixed together and crushed her, knowing she'll never have the same relationship with those people ever again. That those experiences can never be told to anyone because they shouldn't exist in her head, because Lily Evans Potter is meant to be gone, with only her clueless baby son Harry Potter to leave as a farewell present to murder Voldemort for the good of the wizarding world.

Sometimes it just felt easier to cry.

At least she found a shared pain in her sister, pretending she couldn't hear the smile sobs, unheard over the shaking snores of her husband.

Lily might cry for Petunia too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, criticism is always welcome, I'm always trying to improve my writing!


	3. Chapter 3

Lily had the unnerving realisation that she wasn't okay. In retrospect it was understandable, no one could fault her for the outbursts of anger and frustration after what she went through but that didn't mean she wanted it. She hated the bubbling anger that was constantly sizzling under her skin, it made her feel too crowded when people were close to her, made her feel too warm, too big, to everything and she felt like ripping off her son's skin. She would never do that, of course. She would never do anything to harm her son's body. Even as her anger grew and bit and 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥, she could never bring herself to do something to hurt his body. Because it was his. Not hers. She didn't belong in this body and she never would. 

She had started school recently and immediately she stood out. Petunia and her family never looked too close at Lily, which, while she appreciated it for her circumstances, she couldn't help but feel annoyed, what if she wasn't here, what if Harry had been, he would of been isolated and neglected for the first four years of his life, would he even talk? 

However, the schools immediately noticed her...maturity in contrast to her cousin and other children, Lily had genuinely tried to come off as a child but she couldn't bring herself to act like the children around her. Kids are cute, she loves kids but she didn't want to emulate the sticky, drooling and destructive nature of four year olds. She was an adult woman, she had fought in a war and 𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘥. She couldn't, she just couldn't force herself to do this. Because of this she started getting attention from the staff, Lily was always smart, not quite a genius but a quick, hungry learner, but the word "genius" was being thrown around and Lily couldn't help the self hatred at the fact she was cheating. Cheating life, basically. 

"Harry," one of the teachers, Miss Ladimore, called. Even now, she forgot, sometimes, she was known as Harry. It lead to more than one occasion of her not responding to her name. Like now.

"Harry, can you look at me?" The teacher had bent down to her level, Lily looked up, into the women's hazel eyes. 

"Yes, Miss Ladimore?", Lily was polite, always. The lady's smile made Lily frown at her. Lily was polite but her tolerance for everything had been lowered drastically, especially by small talk. 

"I just want to ask if you could tell you're auntie that you need a haircut, it's getting so long you're starting to look like a girl" the teacher giggled, her voice high and with all the inflections that people do when they want children to do something. She had done that.

It was truly infuriating and Lily held respect for children who had to deal with this.

"No. Thank you" She said, because Lily was 24 years old now, she had stopped responding to bull when Voldemort had killed her friends. 

The teacher blinked.

"Ah, Harry, boys aren't allowed long hair, the rules say so." Her smiled came back and Lily knew she was just doing her job but the bubbling came back and she felt her arms shake. 

"Well I'm not a boy!" She growled, her eyes glared at the woman, her finale included a strong kick to the chair she had jumped out of, it fell to the ground and startled a few girls. Lily then walked out, her body hunched in fury that wasn't rational and the teacher had yelled after her, a 'come back' or something equally as useless and the anger bubbled further until...

Ah, tears.

And some poor kids compost pot smashed on the ground. 

Lily started choking on the tears, forcing herself to cough because she couldn't 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦 but she couldn't stop crying. It built and built until,

"Oh, Harry"

Huh? Who...?

Petunia had her arms around him. Her body shook, her tears wetting her school uniform the same way her tears dampened Petunias jacket.

"P-petunia, wha-" she started but Petunia held tighter, shaking her head next to hers in distress.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I've been so selfish and-" her words, fell apart as she cried into her shoulder. 

Petunia. 

Her Petunia.

The one she loved and who loved her back. 

She didn't know what happened and she couldn't bring herself to care as she gripped her older sister hard and sobbed into her shoulder, feeling everything that had built up over years -even before Voldemort had killed her- pour out as she shook and cried inti her sister -her sister who she had missed so much- shoulder.

She hoped this would lead to something good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stuff has,,,happened but I'm going to post this because it took me forever to actually bring myself to write anything, this is my rough draft because I am depressed & cant deal with the world (not a joke, I am diagnosed, I am allowed to complain about my mental illness -this weird add on because I'm tired of people raging on me because they think I'm self diagnosed, I'm not, let me complain pls without attacking me with preconceptions)also, warning, soft spot for Petunia redemption throughout this fic & anything I write in the future, because I enjoy redemption arcs & I like writing them but not for Vernon Dursley because I dont like him but Dudley will be redeemed because I like him too,,also Petunia is pro trans, Dudley will be pro trans, Vernon is transphobic and I'll be happy to read comments talking about Vernon being trash. Do I have an unexpectedly high amount of hatred for this man? Yes, yes I do. 
> 
> In positive news that isnt related to family, mental health or whatever the opposite of a comfort character (hatred character?) I'm constantly listening to Seungmins cover of Love Again (https://youtu.be/b6hV45RAeN8) skz best boys, no doubt. So yeah, listen to it please. 
> 
> Anyways, criticism is welcome, or anime/kdramas/cdramas recommendations because I'm bored (UK Netflix preferred but I can probably find whatever you recommend online if I look,,) 
> 
> Stay safe, try for happy, Idk what else to say,,

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was just a small one to start this off but I hope you liked it anyways! Any criticism is welcome, I'm always trying to improve my writing, so anything you can offer I'm really thankful for!


End file.
